Javier A. Tabush

- there is a truth but one has to know the intentions of the other person
- abandon the feeling that you are right
- you have to establish the "WHAT HAPPENED"
- taking into account every idea and embracing them
- what is the point on improving your skills for conversations?
- we are not honest to ourselves when we talk to other people.

 

When we don’t express our feelings we usually cause problems such as:

• Our listening abilities shorten.

• We lose control.

• We can experience low self-esteem. 

• We can ruin a relationship. 

Guidelines to get feeling into conversations:

1.      Find out what your feelings are.
“You won’t always be happy with what you are feeling.”
“Some of us can’t see our own feelings because we have learned somewhere along the way, that other people’s feelings are more important than ours.”

2.      Negotiate with your feelings. 
Before we express our feelings we should negotiate with them. Our feelings are formed in response to our thoughts. We should try to focus on what caused the other person to act in a determined way.

3.      Share our feelings. 
Guidelines for expressing feelings:

• Remember your feelings are important.

• Put a broader spectrum of feelings. 

• Share pure feelings, save problem solving for later and don’t monopolize. ​

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Biggest identity issues:
 

• Am I competent?
• Am I a good person?
• Am I worthy of love?